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Monthly Archives: June 2014

Coping With Separation or Divorce.


Going through a separation or divorce can be very difficult, no matter the reason for it. It can turn your world upside down and make it hard to get through the work day and stay productive. But there are things you can do to get through this difficult adjustment.

Recognize that it’s OK to have different feelings: It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused—and these feelings can be intense. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time. 
Give yourself a break: Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time.No one is superman or superwoman; take time to heal, regroup and re-energize.
Don’t go through this alone: Sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this period. Isolating yourself can raise your stress levels, reduce your concentration, and get in the way of your work, relationships and overall health. Don’t be afraid to get outside help if you need it.
Take care of yourself emotionally and physically: Take time out to exercise, eat well and relax. Keep to your normal routines as much as possible. Try to avoid making major decisions or changes in life plans. Don’t use alcohol, drugs or cigarettes as a way to cope; they only lead to more problems.
Take time to explore your interests: Reconnect with things you enjoy doing apart from your spouse. Invest time in your hobbies, volunteer, and take time to enjoy life and make new friends.
Think positively: Easier said than done, right? Things may not be the same, but finding new activities and friends, and moving forward with reasonable expectations will make this transition easier. Life will get back to normal, although “normal” may be different from what you had originally hoped.

At Star Point Counseling Center we do everything we can to help you fix and save your relationship, but we are also prepared to help you and your family make the smooth transition through the process of separation and divorce, if that is the decision you feel is right for you. Visit our website for more information or call us today to schedule an appointment with a professional counselor (813)244-1251

Is Your Anger Destructive?


Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you’re at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.

If you are having a hard time controlling your anger here are some simple steps that can help calm down angry feelings:

-Breathe slowly and deeply: breathe from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won’t relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your “gut.”
-Count to 10: Counting to 10 gives you time to cool down so you can think more clearly and overcome the impulse to lash out.
-Practice calm words: Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as “relax,” “take it easy.” Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
-Use imagery: visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
-Meditation or yoga: slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.


If you feel that your anger is really getting out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better. Our licensed mental health professionals at Star Point Counseling Center can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.

Call us today to set up an appointment! (813) 244-1251

How To Head Off Sibling Rivalry.


Siblings, who can figure them out? One minute they hate each other, the next minute they’re each other’s best friend. They insult each other horribly but rise to each other’s defense if an outsider bothers one of them. Siblings support each other and wish each other the best, that is, during those rare moments when they’re not out to beat each other in some real or concocted competition. Love and hate, closeness and distance, respect and loathing: for complexity, nothing beats the relationship between siblings.

Regardless of age, gender, and temperament difference, all siblings fight sometimes. And although children deserve the right to have their differences, its certainly a reasonable goal for a parent to want to decrease the frequency and intensity of sibling conflict and lessen its impact on family life.

Here are a list of things you can do to help:

*Don’t play favorites- the sibling at the short end of the stick will feel that he/she has to fight for your love

*Spend one-on-one time with each child- making time for each sibling goes a long way to ease feelings of competition

*Don’t pressure your children to get along- If they learn to respect, support, and be kind to each other, it is a successful relationship

*Stop keeping score- trying to be completely even handed is not only impossible, but it intensifies the competition

*Set a good example- the way you interact with your spouse, other adults, and with your children will be used as a model


For information on how we can help your family solve these conflicts visit our website or give us a call to set up an appointment with an experienced counselor! (813) 244-1251

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Communication is the key to a good relationship

Assertive communication and reflective listening is the key to good communication in any relationship. Simply say what you want to say and how it makes you feel in an adult manner without escalating your voice and wait for that person to respond. Fully listening to someone and understanding what they said before formulating your thoughts on what you are going to say is good reflective listening. To learn more about communication skill please call Affordable Counseling Center at 813-260-8892 to schedule an appointment to see one of our experienced therapists. 

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