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Monthly Archives: December 2017

Communication Issues

Communication issues may potentially develop in any circumstance or social relationship. It can be easy for individuals to misunderstand or misinterpret others, and these misunderstandings may lead to arguments or tension in personal, platonic, or professional relationships. In some instances, conflicts may arise, and these conflicts can make communication even more challenging.

A number of factors may contribute to communication challenges between two or more parties. Differences of opinion may lead to disagreements between friends or coworkers, and this can contribute to communication difficulties. Those who seek counseling for relationship concerns may frequently cite communication issues as a reason for seeking treatment.

Coping with Grief

Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain of grief can also disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. These are normal reactions to significant loss. But while there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can ease your sadness and help you come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and move on with your life.

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Anxiety Disorder

People with generalized anxiety disorder display excessive anxiety or worry for months and face several anxiety-related symptoms.

Generalized anxiety disorder symptoms include:

  • Restlessness or feeling wound-up or on edge
  • Being easily fatigued
  • Difficulty concentrating or having their minds go blank
  • Irritability
  • Muscle tension
  • Difficulty controlling the worry
  • Sleep problems (difficulty falling or staying asleep or restless, unsatisfying sleep)

 

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Depression Differs from Sadness or Grief/Bereavement

The death of a loved one, loss of a job or the ending of a relationship are difficult experiences for a person to endure. It is normal for feelings of sadness or grief to develop in response to such situations. Those experiencing loss often might describe themselves as being “depressed.”

But being sad is not the same as having depression. The grieving process is natural and unique to each individual and shares some of the same features of depression. Both grief and depression may involve intense sadness and withdrawal from usual activities. They are also different in important ways:

  • In grief, painful feelings come in waves, often intermixed with positive memories of the deceased. In major depression, mood and/or interest (pleasure) are decreased for most of two weeks.
  • In grief, self-esteem is usually maintained. In major depression, feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing are common.
  • For some people, the death of a loved one can bring on major depression. Losing a job or being a victim of a physical assault or a major disaster can lead to depression for some people. When grief and depression co-exist, the grief is more severe and lasts longer than grief without depression. Despite some overlap between grief and depression, they are different. Distinguishing between them can help people get the help, support or treatment they need.

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Lying in a Relationship

As we get older there are certain things we shouldn’t tolerate in a relationship. Our lives are complicated enough; filled with careers, family, friends, our plates are full to overflowing. Add a new relationship to the mix and you have one more issue with which you have to deal. If the relationship is a good, solid one and you can get through the minor problems that seem to affect all partnerships, that make life easier.

But what happens when you find out that this new partner has lied to you? Should you stay with someone who has been less than truthful? It all depends on you as a person. How much are you willing to put up with and how much time are you willing to spend with a liar?

The key ingredient in any relationship is trust, especially as we grow older. Coupled with respect and love, trust gives you a strong basis as a couple. While trust is a bond, it is also a tenuous one, easily broken, if one of the partners constantly lies.

When we talk about lying, we’re not including innocent white lies as in, “Did you close the outside lights?” We’re talking about untruths that affect a relationship to the point where trust becomes simply a meaningless word. It no longer is an active part of being a couple. That breaks the strong bond of partnership.

Lies about fidelity and money are the two most common ones that affect couples. They make it almost impossible to have real trust ever again in a relationship. If your partner has cheated or if you feel that he or she will cheat again you have a trust issue. In addition to lying to you, he or she is making you constantly wait for “the other shoe to drop.” You know the cheating is bound to occur again; you just don’t know when and the suspense is literally killing you. Staying together is not an option for you. Life is too stressful.

“They lied about cheating before and I just know he’ll do it again. I absolutely cannot trust them. Once I caught them in a lie that changed everything. I can’t take them back no matter how charming he seems to be right now.”

Lies about finances are also trust breakers. A fifty-something woman confided to me about what her new husband had done that constituted a complete marital trust breaker. In the glow and trust of a new marriage she had put his name on her checking account. There was over $200,000 in it, not a cent contributed by him. A week after coming home from her honeymoon she had gone to cash a check for two hundred dollars only to be told there were insufficient funds in her account. The account showed a balance of $150. Her new husband it seemed had used her money to pay off his heavy debts he had accumulated with his first wife, debts this wife knew nothing about! He had told her that he was debt-free when they were dating.

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