Self Defining Memories and Scripts

An integrative model of narrative identity builds on a dual memory system that draws on episodic memory and a long‐term self to generate autobiographical memories. Autobiographical memories related to critical goals in a lifetime period lead to life‐story memories, which in turn become self‐defining memories when linked to an individual’s enduring concerns. Self‐defining memories that share repetitive emotion‐outcome sequences yield narrative scripts, abstracted templates that filter cognitive‐affective processing. The life story is the individual’s overarching narrative that provides unity and purpose over the life course.

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Relationship Conflict

The reality is couples who don’t have at least the occasional battle might have bigger problems than those who argue regularly. They may have issues with trust and honesty, or are emotionally disconnected and so they keep their interactions at superficial levels. Or they may avoid conflicts because they believe their issues cannot be resolved, or their communication styles may be so dysfunctional that even minor confrontations turn into major fights. Other couples, such as those who have traditional views of the roles of men and woman, may avoid certain issues because they’re considered to be closed to discussion and one or the other partner is not willing to change. Whatever the reason, when a couple dismisses issues to avoid conflicts, any aspect of their relationship that causes discontent will remain unresolved. Consequently, an unhappy partner doesn’t feel they have to power to make his or her relationship better.

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Oppositional Defiant Disorder Symptons (ODD)

• Unusually quick to lose his temper
• Ignores or rebels against rules, at home or at school
• Quick to blame others for mistakes or misbehavior
• Prone to annoy others and be easily annoyed himself
• Disruptive behavior appears to be intentional rather than impulsive
• Refuses to cooperate reflexively—even before he knows what is being asked

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Your Self Worth

Your self worth is a function of how you value yourself. To build your self worth you must first discover your values and then make up your own definition of success. Your values are nothing more than what you value in life. You probably already know that society places excessive value on the outward appearances of success, such as money, material possessions, physical appearance, marital status, career and so on. In contrast, little consideration is ever given to the loftier values of a person, such as love, integrity, kindness, emotional intelligence, forgiveness and inner balance, when defining one’s success. This means that we have a warped definition of success based largely on outward appearances, which really results in a warped sense of self worth.

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