Why men don’t want to do Marriage Counseling

Usually the wife calls a therapist to make an appointment for marriage counseling. Then she tells her husband they have an appointment for marriage counseling with a therapist. He balks, complains and is resistant to going, making excuses and sometimes an argument will ensue from her making the appointment.  Most men feel the therapist will blame them for everything and make them change their behavior.  Some men feel a female therapist with be gender biased and blame him for everything wrong in the marriage. In some cases with some therapists this may be true due to the therapist’s past relationship experiences ( this does not make for a good therapist). Some men will resist because they are afraid some truth may come out, like an affair or substance abuse. Here at Affordable Counseling in Brandon Fl and Tampa Fl we will not hire a therapist who we feel is gender biased.  We see it all the time, the couple comes in for marriage counseling and the husband is either wide eyed or very quiet. They are having a little anxiety just walking in the door. After the session for marriage counseling the guy’s are a lot more relaxed and on board with marriage counseling. This is when they realize it is not all their fault, most of the time it is both of their faults and both of their behavior is the reason they are having trouble and seeking marriage counseling.  At Affordable Counseling in Brandon Fl. and Tampa Fl. we help a lot of couples with marriage counseling and couples counseling. None of our therapists are gender biased and we teach the couples skills and tools to improve their relationship. We never take sides and mediate an argument and say who is right or wrong.

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Counseling for Couples

As in marital relationships, unmarried couples can experience an endless cycle of arguments, with even the smallest thing leading to a prolonged battle of who is right and who is wrong.  Sometimes, it is difficult to understand why such things are happening in your relationship despite the fact that you started it right. Where did the intimacy go?  Why do our differences seem so irresolvable? In couples counseling, we can help you make sense out of what is happening between you and help you restore the emotional connection you are both longing for.

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Easter

Happy Easter to you and your families!!

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Self Defining Memories and Scripts

An integrative model of narrative identity builds on a dual memory system that draws on episodic memory and a long‐term self to generate autobiographical memories. Autobiographical memories related to critical goals in a lifetime period lead to life‐story memories, which in turn become self‐defining memories when linked to an individual’s enduring concerns. Self‐defining memories that share repetitive emotion‐outcome sequences yield narrative scripts, abstracted templates that filter cognitive‐affective processing. The life story is the individual’s overarching narrative that provides unity and purpose over the life course.

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Your Self Worth

Your self worth is a function of how you value yourself. To build your self worth you must first discover your values and then make up your own definition of success. Your values are nothing more than what you value in life. You probably already know that society places excessive value on the outward appearances of success, such as money, material possessions, physical appearance, marital status, career and so on. In contrast, little consideration is ever given to the loftier values of a person, such as love, integrity, kindness, emotional intelligence, forgiveness and inner balance, when defining one’s success. This means that we have a warped definition of success based largely on outward appearances, which really results in a warped sense of self worth.

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Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) Symptoms

Signs of oppositional defiant disorder in children are usually apparent before the age eight. Behaviors may occur most with people the child knows well, such as family members or care providers. These behaviors are frequent, not age appropriate, and cause significant issues at school, at home, and/or with peers.

• Losing one’s temper often.
• Frequent arguing with adults or refusing to comply with adults’ rules or requests.
• Often getting angry or being resentful or vindictive.
• Deliberately annoying others; easily becoming annoyed with others.
• Often blaming other people for one’s own mistakes or misbehavi

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The Effect of ADHD from Childhood to Adulthood.

Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a chronic, debilitating disorder which may impact upon many aspects of an individual’s life, including academic difficulties, social skills problems, and strained parent-child relationships. Whereas it was previously thought that children eventually outgrow ADHD, recent studies suggest that 30–60% of affected individuals continue to show significant symptoms of the disorder into adulthood. Children with the disorder are at greater risk for longer term negative outcomes, such as lower educational and employment attainment. A vital consideration in the effective treatment of ADHD is how the disorder affects the daily lives of children, young people, and their families. Indeed, it is not sufficient to merely consider ADHD symptoms during school hours—a thorough examination of the disorder should take into account the functioning and well being of the entire family.

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Recognizing Responsibility Assumption

Means that an individual has substantial or total responsibility for the events and circumstances that befall them in their personal life, to a considerably greater degree than is normally thought. Strong adherents of responsibility assumption consider that whatever situation they find themselves in, their own past desires and choices must have led to that outcome.

The term “responsibility assumption” has a specialized meaning beyond the general concept of taking responsibility for something, and is not to be confused with the general notion of making an assumption that a concept such as “responsibility” exists. In particular the general use of the term “responsibility” in everyday life and the legal field in particular is about assigning or apportioning blame for an event; responsibility assumption suggests a greater ability to affect the future.

 

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How to Communicate if You Are Angry

It’s okay to get angry in a relationship – everyone does at some point! What’s important is that you resolve conflicts in a healthy way. If you get angry with your partner, here are a few steps to take:

• Stop. If you get really angry about something, stop, take a step back and breathe. Tell your partner you’d like to take a short break before continuing the conversation. Give yourself time to calm down by watching TV, talking to a friend, playing a video game, taking a walk, listening to some music or whatever helps you relax. Taking a break can keep the situation from getting worse.
• Think. After you’re no longer upset, think about the situation and why you got so angry. Was it how your partner spoke or something they did? Figure out the real problem then think about how to explain your feelings.
• Talk. Finally, talk to your partner and when you do, follow the tips above.
• Listen. After you tell your partner how you feel, remember to stop talking and listen to what they have to say. You both deserve the opportunity to express how you feel in a safe and healthy environment.

Communicating isn’t always easy. At first, some of these tips may feel unnatural or awkward, but they will help you communicate better and build a healthy relationship.

At Affordable Counseling Center, we provide counseling services to individuals, couples, families, children, teens, and adults with any type of crises.  We help you build tools as well as help design and implement individualized goals and objectives, help you sort out beliefs, thoughts, and behavior patterns that may be hindering you in your relationship(s) whether at the work place or in other areas of your life.  

We have the tools you need for managing pain, anxiety, disappointment, frustration, hopelessness, or anger resulting from circumstances that interfere in achieving a balanced and fulfilling lifestyle.  By working together, we will show you how to set and achieve goals and objectives therapeutically designed to meet your needs that will allow you to live the life you know that you deserve.

We can be reached by phone/text/or email. We have offices in Tampa and Brandon and schedule your visits at times that are convenient to you.

Call or Text us at (813) 244-1251

Visit us online at: http://www.affordablecounselingbrandon.com

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Your Teenager and Stress

The adult world is full of situations and events that cause stress. For teens, these stressful events might look different: parents’ divorce, peer pressure, school responsibilities, illness or situations with relationships. Even positive events can create a degree of stress.

The ability to evaluate stress levels and to develop coping skills increases for teens as they grow older and wiser. Often, it is not the situation that causes all the stress; it is the perception and belief about the situation.

It is important to distinguish daily life hurdles from significant stress. Parents and teens often experience daily challenges that can cause stress. Teens usually learn strategies to effectively cope with these small hassles. It is the significant stressors, such as the death of a family member or friend or a serious illness that will cause adolescents to be unable to cope. These events, when not dealt with, can result in serious consequences for the teen’s physical and emotional wellbeing.

While life’s everyday stressors have less negative impact than any single traumatic event, the cumulative effect can be just as detrimental. Perception of stress is often related to experiences and development. What is stressful for one person may not even amount to a small issue for another.

Every teen’s response to stress will be different. Some will have mood swings while others will take part in attention seeking behavior, avoid certain activities, isolate themselves, refuse to go to school, fail to prepare for class assignments and / or have physical complaints like headaches and stomach aches.

So what can parents do?

At Affordable Counseling Center, there are two convenient locations for you to choose from in Brandon and Tampa.  

We provide counseling services to individuals, couples, families, children, teens, and adults with any type of crises.  We help you build tools as well as help design and implement individualized goals and objectives, help you sort out beliefs, thoughts, and behavior patterns that may be hindering you in your relationship(s) whether at the work place or in other areas of your life.  

 

We have the tools you need for managing pain, anxiety, disappointment, frustration, hopelessness, or anger resulting from circumstances that interfere in achieving a balanced and fulfilling lifestyle.  By working together, we will show you how to set and achieve goals and objectives therapeutically designed to meet your needs that will allow you to live the life you know that you deserve.

Call or text us today, to schedule your appointment. (813) 244-1251 or visit us online at:

http://www.affordablecounselingbrandon.com

http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com

http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com