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Category Archives: Couples Counseling Tampa

Depression Differs from Sadness or Grief/Bereavement

The death of a loved one, loss of a job or the ending of a relationship are difficult experiences for a person to endure. It is normal for feelings of sadness or grief to develop in response to such situations. Those experiencing loss often might describe themselves as being “depressed.”

But being sad is not the same as having depression. The grieving process is natural and unique to each individual and shares some of the same features of depression. Both grief and depression may involve intense sadness and withdrawal from usual activities. They are also different in important ways:

  • In grief, painful feelings come in waves, often intermixed with positive memories of the deceased. In major depression, mood and/or interest (pleasure) are decreased for most of two weeks.
  • In grief, self-esteem is usually maintained. In major depression, feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing are common.
  • For some people, the death of a loved one can bring on major depression. Losing a job or being a victim of a physical assault or a major disaster can lead to depression for some people. When grief and depression co-exist, the grief is more severe and lasts longer than grief without depression. Despite some overlap between grief and depression, they are different. Distinguishing between them can help people get the help, support or treatment they need.

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Lying in a Relationship

As we get older there are certain things we shouldn’t tolerate in a relationship. Our lives are complicated enough; filled with careers, family, friends, our plates are full to overflowing. Add a new relationship to the mix and you have one more issue with which you have to deal. If the relationship is a good, solid one and you can get through the minor problems that seem to affect all partnerships, that make life easier.

But what happens when you find out that this new partner has lied to you? Should you stay with someone who has been less than truthful? It all depends on you as a person. How much are you willing to put up with and how much time are you willing to spend with a liar?

The key ingredient in any relationship is trust, especially as we grow older. Coupled with respect and love, trust gives you a strong basis as a couple. While trust is a bond, it is also a tenuous one, easily broken, if one of the partners constantly lies.

When we talk about lying, we’re not including innocent white lies as in, “Did you close the outside lights?” We’re talking about untruths that affect a relationship to the point where trust becomes simply a meaningless word. It no longer is an active part of being a couple. That breaks the strong bond of partnership.

Lies about fidelity and money are the two most common ones that affect couples. They make it almost impossible to have real trust ever again in a relationship. If your partner has cheated or if you feel that he or she will cheat again you have a trust issue. In addition to lying to you, he or she is making you constantly wait for “the other shoe to drop.” You know the cheating is bound to occur again; you just don’t know when and the suspense is literally killing you. Staying together is not an option for you. Life is too stressful.

“They lied about cheating before and I just know he’ll do it again. I absolutely cannot trust them. Once I caught them in a lie that changed everything. I can’t take them back no matter how charming he seems to be right now.”

Lies about finances are also trust breakers. A fifty-something woman confided to me about what her new husband had done that constituted a complete marital trust breaker. In the glow and trust of a new marriage she had put his name on her checking account. There was over $200,000 in it, not a cent contributed by him. A week after coming home from her honeymoon she had gone to cash a check for two hundred dollars only to be told there were insufficient funds in her account. The account showed a balance of $150. Her new husband it seemed had used her money to pay off his heavy debts he had accumulated with his first wife, debts this wife knew nothing about! He had told her that he was debt-free when they were dating.

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HOW TO LIVE WITH A NARCISSIST

Turns out, its not as easy as I thought. Also, once you stop dancing to the narcissists manipulations, they don’t necessarily give up, they just start whining about how you don’t love them anymore, and aren’t trying to make your relationship work. In addition, once you stop freaking out when the narcissist threatens to leave you, they start trying to make YOU leave, i.e. kick you out. I quote, “you just need to leave for a couple days and then you’ll realize that I love you”. Really?! Ugh, I don’t think so. He really thinks that once I am without him I will shrivel up into a ball of neediness and come begging him to take me back.

Living with a narcissist will always be a roller coaster of emotions because they will push and pull you in many directions emotionally.  Narcissists will seek out co dependent partners because they know they can keep a co dependent in their web of control and emotional withdrawal.

Whenever we have a narcissist as a client they tell us everything we are doing wrong. They do not want to talk about the issues they are having and the reason they made an appointment to see us. When we have a couple for couples counseling and one of them is a narcissist they want to blame the other person for everything wrong in the relationship. A narcissist will never take responsibility for their action. Instead, they will project their behavior onto their partner, as if their partner actually did this to them.

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FAMILY CONFLICT

Family conflict often occurs when members of the family are stressed out or anxious.
Family counseling can help relieve families of conflict through conflict resolution.

Bringing the family in to counseling provides a save and neutral setting to explore thoughts, feelings and experiences that shape the complex family dynamic. Lasting change and improvement in a family takes time but the process can begin when every individual in the entire family has a voice. Allowing each member a voice brings understanding that provides insight that can impact future choices and bring positive transformation. affordablecounseling.com starpointcounselingtampa.com starpointcounselingbrandon.com

 

 

Stress Counseling & Anxiety Counseling

Everyone experiences stress and anxiety at one time or another. The difference between them is that stress is a response to a threat in a situation. Anxiety is a reaction to the stress. Star Point Counseling Center does stress counseling and anxiety counseling. Sometimes clients are experiencing both stress and anxiety.

Whether in good times or bad, most people say that stress interferes at least moderately with their lives. Chronic stress can affect your health, causing symptoms from headaches, high blood pressure, and chest pain to heart palpitations, skin rashes, and loss of sleep.

But you can learn how to reduce the impact of stress and manage your symptoms.

Physical activity is a proven way to reduce stress. Regular participation in aerobic exercise has been shown to decrease overall levels of tension, elevate and stabilize mood, and improve sleep and self-esteem. Other effective methods include mind, body practices of breathing exercises, yoga, and meditation.

I play ice hockey a few times a week for fun and exercise, but it also helps with stress and anxiety. I also work out a few times a week so I can play hockey without injuring myself.  Physical exercise should be something you enjoy doing, so think of a sport you enjoy and go do it. Always consult with a physician before trying a new type of exercise.

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How to Communicate if You Are Angry

It’s okay to get angry in a relationship – everyone does at some point! What’s important is that you resolve conflicts in a healthy way. If you get angry with your partner, here are a few steps to take:

  • Stop. If you get really angry about something, stop, take a step back and breathe. Tell your partner you’d like to take a short break before continuing the conversation. Give yourself time to calm down by watching TV, talking to a friend, playing a video game, taking a walk, listening to some music or whatever helps you relax. Taking a break can keep the situation from getting worse.
  • Think. After you’re no longer upset, think about the situation and why you got so angry. Was it how your partner spoke or something they did? Figure out the real problem then think about how to explain your feelings.
  • Talk. Finally, talk to your partner and when you do, follow the tips above.
  • Listen. After you tell your partner how you feel, remember to stop talking and listen to what they have to say. You both deserve the opportunity to express how you feel in a safe and healthy environment.

Communicating isn’t always easy. At first, some of these tips may feel unnatural or awkward, but they will help you communicate better and build a healthy relationship.

At Affordable Counseling Center, we provide counseling services to individuals, couples, families, children, teens, and adults with any type of crises.  We help you build tools as well as help design and implement individualized goals and objectives, help you sort out beliefs, thoughts, and behavior patterns that may be hindering you in your relationship(s) whether at the work place or in other areas of your life.  

We have the tools you need for managing pain, anxiety, disappointment, frustration, hopelessness, or anger resulting from circumstances that interfere in achieving a balanced and fulfilling lifestyle.  By working together, we will show you how to set and achieve goals and objectives therapeutically designed to meet your needs that will allow you to live the life you know that you deserve.
We can be reached by phone/text/or email. We have offices in Tampa and Brandon and schedule your visits at times that are convenient to you.
Call or Text us at (813) 244-1251
                                  http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com
                                    http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

Your Teenager and Stress

The adult world is full of situations and events that cause stress. For teens, these stressful events might look different: parents’ divorce, peer pressure, school responsibilities, illness or situations with relationships. Even positive events can create a degree of stress.

The ability to evaluate stress levels and to develop coping skills increases for teens as they grow older and wiser. Often, it is not the situation that causes all the stress; it is the perception and belief about the situation.

It is important to distinguish daily life hurdles from significant stress. Parents and teens often experience daily challenges that can cause stress. Teens usually learn strategies to effectively cope with these small hassles. It is the significant stressors, such as the death of a family member or friend or a serious illness that will cause adolescents to be unable to cope. These events, when not dealt with, can result in serious consequences for the teen’s physical and emotional wellbeing.

While life’s everyday stressors have less negative impact than any single traumatic event, the cumulative effect can be just as detrimental. Perception of stress is often related to experiences and development. What is stressful for one person may not even amount to a small issue for another.

Every teen’s response to stress will be different. Some will have mood swings while others will take part in attention seeking behavior, avoid certain activities, isolate themselves, refuse to go to school, fail to prepare for class assignments and / or have physical complaints like headaches and stomach aches.

So what can parents do?

At Affordable Counseling Center, there are two convenient locations for you to choose from in Brandon and Tampa.  

We provide counseling services to individuals, couples, families, children, teens, and adults with any type of crises.  We help you build tools as well as help design and implement individualized goals and objectives, help you sort out beliefs, thoughts, and behavior patterns that may be hindering you in your relationship(s) whether at the work place or in other areas of your life.  
 
We have the tools you need for managing pain, anxiety, disappointment, frustration, hopelessness, or anger resulting from circumstances that interfere in achieving a balanced and fulfilling lifestyle.  By working together, we will show you how to set and achieve goals and objectives therapeutically designed to meet your needs that will allow you to live the life you know that you deserve.
Call or text us today, to schedule your appointment. (813) 244-1251 or visit us online at:
http://www.affordablecounselingbrandon.com
http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com
http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com
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