RSS Feed

Tag Archives: anger

How to Communicate if You Are Angry

It’s okay to get angry in a relationship – everyone does at some point! What’s important is that you resolve conflicts in a healthy way. If you get angry with your partner, here are a few steps to take:

  • Stop. If you get really angry about something, stop, take a step back and breathe. Tell your partner you’d like to take a short break before continuing the conversation. Give yourself time to calm down by watching TV, talking to a friend, playing a video game, taking a walk, listening to some music or whatever helps you relax. Taking a break can keep the situation from getting worse.
  • Think. After you’re no longer upset, think about the situation and why you got so angry. Was it how your partner spoke or something they did? Figure out the real problem then think about how to explain your feelings.
  • Talk. Finally, talk to your partner and when you do, follow the tips above.
  • Listen. After you tell your partner how you feel, remember to stop talking and listen to what they have to say. You both deserve the opportunity to express how you feel in a safe and healthy environment.

Communicating isn’t always easy. At first, some of these tips may feel unnatural or awkward, but they will help you communicate better and build a healthy relationship.

At Affordable Counseling Center, we provide counseling services to individuals, couples, families, children, teens, and adults with any type of crises.  We help you build tools as well as help design and implement individualized goals and objectives, help you sort out beliefs, thoughts, and behavior patterns that may be hindering you in your relationship(s) whether at the work place or in other areas of your life.  

We have the tools you need for managing pain, anxiety, disappointment, frustration, hopelessness, or anger resulting from circumstances that interfere in achieving a balanced and fulfilling lifestyle.  By working together, we will show you how to set and achieve goals and objectives therapeutically designed to meet your needs that will allow you to live the life you know that you deserve.
We can be reached by phone/text/or email. We have offices in Tampa and Brandon and schedule your visits at times that are convenient to you.
Call or Text us at (813) 244-1251
                                  http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com
                                    http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com
Advertisements

Forgiveness: Letting Go of Grudges and Bitterness.

When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness and move forward.

Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness or even vengeance.  If you don’t practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

 What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, more positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn’t minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

 Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for happiness, health and peace. Forgiveness can lead to:
  • Healthier relationships
  • Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
  • Less anxiety, stress and hostility
  • Lower blood pressure
  • Fewer symptoms of depression
  • Stronger immune system
  • Improved heart health
  • Higher self-esteem

What are the effects of holding a grudge?

  • Bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience
  • Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can’t enjoy the present
  • Become depressed or anxious
  • Feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you’re at odds with your spiritual beliefs
  • Lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others

Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. To begin, you might:

  • Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time
  • Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you’ve reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being
  • Actively choose to forgive the person who’s offended you, when you’re ready
  • Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life

As you let go of grudges, you’ll no longer define your life by how you’ve been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding.

At Affordable Counseling Center, there are two convenient locations for you to choose from in Brandon and Tampa.  

We provide counseling services to individuals, couples, families, children, teens, and adults with any type of crises.  We help you build tools as well as help design and implement individualized goals and objectives, help you sort out beliefs, thoughts, and behavior patterns that may be hindering you in your relationship(s) whether at the work place or in other areas of your life.  
 
We have the tools you need for managing pain, anxiety, disappointment, frustration, hopelessness, or anger resulting from circumstances that interfere in achieving a balanced and fulfilling lifestyle.  By working together, we will show you how to set and achieve goals and objectives therapeutically designed to meet your needs that will allow you to live the life you know that you deserve.
CALL US TODAY TO SCHEDULE YOUR APPOINTMENT: 813.244.1251
http://www.affordablecounselingbrandon.com
http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com
http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

The Stigma of Depression

When it comes to obtaining treatment for medical ailments as benign as the common cold, people don’t think twice about running to the doctor, or the acupuncturist, and spending the money on treatments to feel better. So, why do so many who suffer from depression continue to hesitate, despite all of the treatment options available?

Depression continues to be one of the most stigmatized mental health issues out there. This is ironic, given that by the year 2020, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, depression is estimated to be the second most common health problem in the world. The externalized stigma toward those with mental health issues that exists in society, there comes internalized stigma, or self-shame. This makes the experience of mental health issues all the more devastating. Many times, it is the internalized shame that stops people from acknowledging psychological problems and receiving treatment, since many see it as akin to admitting that they are weak or damaged in some way.

What can you do? If you suffer from depression, tell somebody. Ask for help. Change the stigma, call or text Affordable Counseling Center, Brandon at (813) 244-1521. We are also on the web at:

http://www.affordablecounselingbrandon.com

http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com

People go to therapy for a variety of reasons—quite often they have a vague sense “that something isn’t right,” or feelings of sadness or depression. They might be worried that they or someone they care about might have a mental illness, or they’re having problems with significant others.

However,  sometimes even relatively minor stressors, such as doing your taxes, can trigger significant symptoms. Anxiety, fear, panic, insomnia, mental confusion, hysteria, depression that doesn’t seem to lift, and more can be triggered by major (and in some cases, minor) stressful events.

If you find that during stressful times you seem to struggle with persistent symptoms more than you feel is acceptable, therapy might help.  Sure, your belief system, personality, mental and physical health, and other factors determine how you respond to life stressors, but sometimes the sheer magnitude of stressful conditions or times where these situations seem to pile on top of each other, can be overwhelming.

Whether or not you might benefit from therapy is a personal decision that no one can make for you. Brief therapy or, if necessary, longer-term therapy with a highly focused treatment plan, can help you deal with stressful events and the emotions they trigger.

http://www.affordablecounselingbrandon.com

http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com

 

 

Parenting Angry Teens.

78631170

Are you dealing with an angry teen and don’t know how to handle it? Below are some tips that might help you get through it.

Hang in there. Parents who hang in there, who continue to express love and concern, who continue to insist on knowing where their kids are going and with whom, who include their teens in family events, and who stubbornly refuse to give up are the parents who generally manage to save their kids.

Take it seriously, but not personally. Usually teens do have things to be angry at, but it usually is something blown out of proportion. Don’t take things to heart. If there is something that you may have done wrong, then apologize. An honest apology and genuine efforts to make the family a better place to be can set the family in a new direction. It will take time.

The kid is just as scared as you are. Kids often use hostile moods as a cover up for fear. Children can get very overwhelmed with life. Instead of showing their vulnerability, they talk ad act like a big shot. 

Understand teen depression. Irritability and explosiveness are sometimes symptoms of depression.  If your teen’s mood seems unreasonable given his or her situation, it is important to get help from a counselor. 

 

The counselors at Star Point can help your child through the stages of change, to increase compliance with rules and laws, encourage positive peer selection, improve academic status, and overall goal directed behavior. We can also help open communication by encouraging the expression of negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that compromise your child’s sense of well being.

Visit our website for more information on our services. www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com

 

Is Your Anger Destructive?

Image

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you’re at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.

If you are having a hard time controlling your anger here are some simple steps that can help calm down angry feelings:

-Breathe slowly and deeply: breathe from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won’t relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your “gut.”
-Count to 10: Counting to 10 gives you time to cool down so you can think more clearly and overcome the impulse to lash out.
-Practice calm words: Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as “relax,” “take it easy.” Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
-Use imagery: visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
-Meditation or yoga: slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.

 

If you feel that your anger is really getting out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better. Our licensed mental health professionals at Star Point Counseling Center can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and your behavior.

Call us today to set up an appointment! (813) 244-1251 

http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com/

Just Laugh

Image

 

Shame is a universal emotion. We all experience it at some time or another. Sometimes shame causes people to react in anger or aggression. Other times people become embarrassed and try to hide their shame. These ways of dealing with shame are not healthy. In fact, hidden shame can be damaging and can cause serious struggles for an individual as well as for groups; struggles that are behind many of the behaviors currently occurring in our society. 

Shame can affect a person’s self-worth. Being told ‘shame on you,’ for example, can destroy an individual’s sense of value. “Emotions are like breathing and cause trouble when obstructed,” says Thomas Scheff, professor emeritus of sociology at University of California, Santa Barbara. 

Scheff examined the ubiquity of hidden shame in an article published in the journal of Cultural Sociology. He suggests it may be one of the keys to understanding contemporary society. According to Scheff a society that fosters individualism (like ours) provides a ripe breeding ground for the emotion of shame because people are encouraged to “go it alone, no matter the cost to relationships,” he said.

In exploring the connection between shame and aggression, Scheff cites research conducted by sociologist Neil Websdale, author of Familicidal Hearts: The Emotional Styles of 211 Killers. “Familicide, the act of one spouse killing the other as well as their children and often himself or herself, stems from unacknowledged shame,” Scheff said.

What is even more interesting about the study, is the finding that there is a minority group of non-angry people. These people lose their job and feel humiliated, then pretend as though they are continuing to go to work every day, but they are actually planning the killing. They are known as the ‘civic respectable.’

On the contrary, shame is actually a very useful emotion and is in fact the basis of morality. Shame provides a weight for morality. Ever heard the phrase “listen to your conscience?” When you make a decision based on your conscience it is usually backed up by shame.

Instead of allowing yourself to succumb to shame, give yourself permission to laugh. Laugh at yourself often. Laugh at the universe. Laugh at your circumstance. As long as you are not laughing at others you cannot go wrong. Laughter is good for your health. It relaxes the body, boosts your immune system, triggers the release of endorphins, and protects the heart.

 

To learn more about the study, click this link: http://psychcentral.com/news/2014/03/17/resolve-hidden-shame-with-humor/67210.html

For more information on Mental Health Counseling, visit our website: http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com, or http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

%d bloggers like this: