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Taking Time for Yourself

How can I learn to take time for myself without the guilt?
By not taking a little time out of each day for yourself, you might be less happy than possible. Start by focusing on yourself. Acknowledge that your own happiness is important and practice happiness-boosting routines.

 

You have multiple priorities on your mind at any given time. Food, kids, laundry, cleaning, friends, work, bills, relationships, home, car, shower, sex, exercise, hobbies, not to mention politics, economics, scientific breakthroughs, the environment, public education or healthcare.

You are in constant movement, getting things done, going places, talking to people.

Not only are you thinking about many things at the same time, recent Harvard research, indicates that you’re thinking about something other than what you are doing in the moment at least 47% of the time. You spend most of your life engaging with a wandering mind, thinking about everything you need to do, pondering world affairs and absentmindedly doing what needs to be done right now. You are giving life half of your attention because almost 50% of the time you’re thinking of something other than what you’re doing.

When your life is guided by thoughts about things you have to do or things you have done you will likely fail to focus on the present. And you might experience a downward spiral* into stress and unhappiness.

Your focus is on everything and everyone except yourself.

You are rarely on your own list!

You feel responsible for “getting everything done.”

This mentality incorporates the thinking “If I don’t do it, who will?”

When you focus on everything except yourself you might feel angry, irritable, frustrated, disappointed, stressed, depressed, lethargic and you might head right for the chocolate and potato chips.

Affordable Counseling Center provides solution focused counseling for couples, families, and individuals by licensed Therapists to the extended Tampa, Brandon, Plant City, and Riverview areas. We can see you the day you call or whenever possible. We are available evening and weekends by appointment.

At Star Point Counseling Center, there are two convenient locations for you to choose from in Brandon and Tampa. So call or text us today, or anytime at (813) 244-1251 or visit us online at: 

http://www.affordablecounselingbrandon.com

http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com

http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

Do’s And Don’ts Of Teaching Your Child To Cope.

Coping-with-Divorce-Cultivating-Your-Childs-Feelings

The ability to cope is not something we are born with. Coping involves emotional and practical skills that our children learn through both observation and direct teaching. As parents it is our job to not only celebrate the good times but also prepare them for the bad times as well. Every disappointment in a child’s life is an opportunity to show them that they are strong enough to overcome it. 

Here are some ways we can encourage healthy coping skills:

  • DON’T ignore a problem. Avoiding the problem will only worsen with time. DO encourage your child to face their problems, facing small problems gives them the practice they need to solve big ones. It is also important to teach your child when and how to reach out for support when life hands them a big one.
  • DON’T step in too soon. We have to let our children learn how to handle situations by themselves without always coming to their rescue. DO have confidence in your child, with our help they can learn to use their hearts and minds to handle a difficult situation.
  • DON’T agree with your child that life is unfair, or mean. Yes, it may be true sometimes but having a negative attitude about life will leave them unhappy. DO acknowledge that sometimes life is unfair and people are mean but if there is nothing we can do about a negative situation we need to teach our children not to dwell on it and move on.
  • DON’T let yourself get down or depressed if your child is depressed. It adds more burden to the problem because kids don’t want to see their parents sad. DO teach your child to engage with problems. Have them talk out exactly what happened and why. Work together to decide what they can change and what they can’t. You may not be able to change a situation but you can always learn something from it. 
  • DON’T accept tantrums, acting out, or helplessness. No problem has ever been solved by tempers, aggression, or just giving up. DO listen and support their feelings, we need to let our children know that it is okay to let their emotions out, but not to make someone the target. It is important to teach your child how to calm themselves down and get past their feelings. 

If you have a child that is not coping well and you are having a hard time dealing with their depression, anger or tantrums, let us know! We can help teach your child coping skills that they will need to get past big or small problems that they may face now and in the future. 

(813)244-1251

www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

Saying Sorry

What is it about the words “I’m sorry” that makes it so hard to say? Is is about the guilt behind the wrongdoing, or is it the ego behind always being right?

sorry

Whatever it is, people find it hard to apologize. Authentic and effective apology is the very core of healing, clarifying, and restoring relationships. Like forgiveness, an apology can cut the cycle of anger, revenge, and hatred. The person giving the apology can tend to feel extremely vulnerable, fearing how the apology will be received. The giver’s apology could be rejected, causing him or her to feel unforgivable, and therefore less likely to say sorry in the future. However, if the giver works internally on becoming proud of his or her own efforts in apologizing, then he or she can move from feeling unforgivable to being unforgiven. Being unforgiven is out of his or her control and does not diminish a person’s self-worth.

There are a number of things to consider when giving an apology. An effective apology shows that:

  • the giver recognizes that his or her actions were wrong or harmful
  • the giver takes full responsibility and is not defensive
  • the giver feels remorse for the wrongdoing
  • the giver wants to make amends
  • and the giver reassures that he or she will behave differently in the future

When giving an apology, the giver should not:

  • use ifs or buts; for example, “I apologize if I offended you,” or “I’m sorry but you shouldn’t take it personally.”
  • assume how the receiver feels
  • be unclear; avoid this by starting your apology with “I”
  • wait too long to apologize
  • apologize via text message, email, Facebook, or Twitter; do it in person

An apology can move mountains. A half-hearted one can make things worse. A sincere and well-crafted apology can restore relationships.

 

To read the entire article: http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/saying-youre-sorry-part-i-apologies-that-heal-0401144

Visit our website for more information about counseling: http://www.affordablecounselingbrandon.com

Like us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/AffordableCounselingCenter or follow us on Twitter: @acounselingctr

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