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Marriage Counseling

Every relationship is bound to experience highs and lows, and that’s normal when you’re in a relationship as close as a marriage. Determining whether your marriage is experiencing a small bump in the road or if it’s something more serious that requires professional counseling may be easier than you think.

Even the best marriage can suffer normal wear and tear over the years. If it shows signs of breaking down and you and your spouse growing apart, professional marriage counseling is often the best next step. A good counselor can guide you toward getting the relationship back on the right track by identifying what the real issues are and then helping you to implement solutions.

Marriages tend to change over time, especially when faced with a major transition, such as one partner going back to school, when you’re expecting your first child, or you’re suffering the loss of a family member. A good marriage counselor can help you to get through these changes so that you can find your relationship’s new normal and regain focus on each other.

Even if you feel that your marriage is in good shape, counseling may be able to make it great. Getting the perspective of an objective professional can help you to keep your relationship with your spouse running smoothly.

We can help. Call us to schedule your marriage counseling session and begin making your relationship great again.

Email us at: starpointcenter@aol.com or call us anytime at (813) 244-1251

http://www.affordablecounselingbrandon.com

http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com

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Couples Counseling

Communication skills are a great skill in any relationship. Assertive Communication is the best way to communicate versus aggressive, passive aggressive or passive  communication

Fully listen to your spouse before formulating your thoughts, you can even repeat back to them “so I think I am hearing you say……….. is this correct”. Then formulate your thoughts and then speak. A lot of times we will start formulating our thoughts before the other person is done talking and then we do not full understand what they are saying.

. When talking to your spouse speak in a non emotional calm voice and tell your spouse how you feel. Do not tell them what they are doing wrong, in your mind, blaming them in a loud or aggressive voice.

If you feel you will benefit from couples counseling in the Tampa Bay area please visit our web site affordablecounselingbrandon.com  or call us at 813-260-8892.

Reasons To Seek Marriage Counseling.

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Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. These rates vary with the partner’s education level, religious beliefs, childhood, etc. While divorce seems to be the healthiest and best decision for some, others may feel that the marriage can be salvaged. When there are problems and issues in the relationship many wonder when is it appropriate to seek help from a counselor.  

Here are some good reasons to seek marriage counseling:

  1. Communication has turned negative. Negative communication can include anything that leaves one partner feeling depressed, insecure, disregarded, or wanting to withdraw from the conversation. Once the communication has turned negative it is hard to get it back on the positive track.
  2. Affairs. If you are contemplating having an affair, or if one partner has already had an affair, now would be a good time to seek help. It is possible to recover from infidelity, but it takes commitment and patience. 
  3. You’ve become just “roommates”. When it seems like you’re just occupying the same space and you just co-exist, a counselor can help sort out what is missing and help you get it back.
  4. Can’t figure out how to resolve conflicts. A third party member can help get you moving in the right direction and teach you skills to resolving your conflicts.
  5. Staying together just for the children. When couples believe it is more beneficial to stay together for the sake of the children, it can actually do more harm then good. Children should never be the deciding factor, and a professional can help you figure that out.

Not all marriages can be saved. In the process of marriage counseling you may decide that separation is in your best interest. But for those who are willing to commit to the process, marriage counseling can help you realize why you fell in love in the first place and get your marriage back on the right track. 

Visit our website for more information on marriage counseling and costs! www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

Don’t Let Parenting Drown Your Marriage.

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Between household chores, jobs, extracurricular activities for the kids, and all the other responsibilities that are on your plate you are often left with no time for your marriage. You don’t get to talk much, you only see each other right before bed when you are exhausted, and you’ve become less and less intimate over time. Although you are doing an outstanding job with your parenting and it is understandable that you have little time for yourselves, you must take the time to reconnect with your partner. 

A few simple changes can help shift the focus from the kids back to the marriage:

  1. Establish a date night. Set aside one evening per week for a romantic date night. If you can’t manage to get a sitter for the night then give the kids an activity to do that will keep them occupied for a couple hours and tell them not to bother the two of you while you have dinner together. 
  2. Reconsider the kid’s schedule. Don’t overload your schedules with extracurricular activities, instead let each child have only one activity at a time so you have more time to do other things as a family and couple.
  3. Balance kid time and couple time. Take turns staying in the the kids while one of you goes out with friends. But make sure you also have those date nights too so your not just seeing each other when your handing off the kids. 
  4. Find an activity you can enjoy together. Find a dance class, a favorite hiking spot, or just go out to dinner with your friends. Anything that you enjoy doing together and that will give you something to talk about instead of issues with the kids. 
  5. Intimacy. You don’t have time? Well make some. Get the children to bed, turn off the computers and TV and spend some quality time together. Decompress, talk about your day, give each other a back rub, or be sexually intimate.
  6. Make plans. There is no need for spontaneity all the time, especially when you have children. Relationships take maintenance and planning, make some room in your schedule and fit some plans in. 

Reconnecting takes a re-evaluation of priorities and making some changes in your schedules. To preserve and grow their relationship, the adults need to take care of their own needs as well as their children’s. 

Check out our website for more tips on maintaining your marriage, and how we can help you reconnect with your partner. www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

Moving On After Infidelity.

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No one gets married expecting to get divorced later down the road. An definitely no one expects to have their marriage destroyed by an affair. So how do you begin to move on after this has happened to you? Your husband or even family and friends may try to pressure you into trying to work on your marriage and get past this bump in the road, but only you know if it is actually doable. For many, the broken trust and damaged bond is irreparable. Moving on from your marriage will be far from easy, but if it is the path you choose to take then it will be worth the painful journey. There are many ways to make the process and healthy and productive as possible.

  1. Accept that the marriage is over: Stop emotionally investing in the past. The more you hold onto the past, the more you will recreate it in your present moment and in the future.
  2. Allow yourself to feel: Be aware of your thoughts, bodily sensations, and reactions. You cannot heal if you don’t recognize consciously, and it will not go away if you keep shoving it to the side.
  3. Know that feeling afraid is normal: Learn to face and overcome your fears by taking a close look at your anxiety over the marriage ending and ask yourself if it is truly valid.
  4. Learn what nurtures you: You have the power to create a future of your own making, be proactive and take responsibility of your own happiness.
  5. Express yourself authentically: By being real with people, you will find yourself connecting to others in a way you never had before, which speeds up the recovery process. If you feel betrayed by your spouse’s infidelity, express that honestly and constructively.
  6. Forgive: Realize that forgiveness is mainly for your benefit not any one else’s.
  7. Trust the process: Keep going. Every step, no matter how small, is moving you forward.
  8. Set long-term goals for yourself: This is a real indicator that you really are prepared to let go of the past and move on. Set plans for your future, and create some exciting plans for yourself.

If you are struggling with moving on from your marriage after infidelity, call us today so we can help you begin your journey of moving on from infidelity. (813)244-1251

Visit our website to learn more about how we can help! www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

Being Friends With Your Spouse

Are you feeling unhappy in your current marriage/relationship? Are you constantly arguing with your partner? Well, the solution might be easier than you think. Why not try being friends?

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There had to be a time when you were friends; and somehow that friendship is now lost. The closer you became as a couple, the more you began to focus on making the relationship work, and you lost sight of what really matters. Think about it for a moment. Do you treat your friends the same way you treat your partner? Sure you are more physically intimate with your partner, but that is no reason you can’t be friends too.

How can you become friends again? Here are 7 qualities that are present in a healthy friendship:

  1. Loyalty
  2. Sensitivity
  3. Humor
  4. Honesty
  5. Listening
  6. Support
  7. Generosity

When is the last time you noticed any of these qualities in your relationship?

Visit our website today: http://www.starpointcounselingbrandon.com, or http://www.starpointcounselingtampa.com

Like us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/starpointcounselingcenter or follow us on Twitter: @starpointcenter

The Therapeutic Relationship

therapyIn life you have many different relationships that exist. Your first perhaps is the bonding and attachment that occurs between child and mother and father, or caregiver. As you grow you develop other family bonds with brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles etc. And eventually you make friends and playmates with peers near your own age. As you become an adult, romantic relationships and intimate friendships develop, introducing a very dynamic concept of interaction with others. As we all know, relationships are a key element to almost everyone’s lives. Although Maslow’s hierarchy of needs has been discredited to some extent, his placement of “love and belonging” as second to physical needs such as food and shelter, is pretty on point.
Many times people come to counseling with relational problems. A person might have a marital discord, he may be suffering from depression and be lashing out at others. Someone may have anxiety that is inhibiting the individual from making friends. Families can get stuck in dysfunctional triangulation. Whatever the cause, relationships play a key role in therapy and why people choose to sign up for introspection of this sort.
Given all of the information stated above, it would be safe to assume that when you are attending therapy you are talking about some of these relationships and their problems. So, it is therefore important that the relationship between therapist and client be an integral part of the therapy process. When searching for a therapist many people want to “fit” together. They want to find someone who “get’s them” or that they feel they can relate to. This is ultimately the client’s right, as it should be. Therapy is much more successful when the therapist and client have an emotionally intimate relationship. This may not happen right away, but in time, the most effective therapy includes this deep connection.
Coming up in part two of this series… What are things you need to look for in your therapeutic relationship that will encourage success?
Stay tuned for more from Affordable Counseling of Brandon and Tampa, and check out our website for more information! http://www.affordablecounselingbrandon.com.

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